ice/mare.

I'm walking on ice
Sheet ice,
Thin as card
Every step, and a crack
Echoes across the surface
The inky black below,
Nothingness,
I can see breathing
Wisps of me
In front of my face
Limited, they disappear
As if they never existed
Naked, shaking
The cold bites at my skin
I'd call out
You're by the shore, somewhere
Safe on solid ground
There's comfort in that
But you're moving too far away
And I'm panicking
And my steps are heavier
Every breath, quicker
And I'm scared
More so, than the
Nothingness
That you won't reach
And help me
Why should you,
I'm the one who's
Thrown myself across
To this place
Sharp, the ice edges closer
It's cutting me
Blood spreads, like
Thick butter
Shatters
And I'm drowning
And I can't see you
And

holding on.

I feel as though
on a knife edge

that scathing blade
lying, passive

waiting for
that one raging
silent night

when thoughts
boil over into despair
and the phone is too

far to

reach



I'm holding my breath
and my lungs
are slowly aching
with building pressure
can't be sated

until the pain has
carved its way through my skin

I need to release these words
but
refresh the page
refresh the page
waiting lists aren't
for the impatient

I can't hold on much longer
I'm drowning in guilt

stop with the pity party,
she says
but is it still a party
if its all in my head?