puppet.

A puppet on strings
Limbs, handled by
Your manipulating fingers

Now the strings have been cut
And I'm lying on the floor
Lifeless, with no idea

How to walk again
How to think, act, feel
Because a puppet is nothing

Without it's master to guide it
I was a fool to think
That I was anything else

A piece of stuffed cloth
A painted face, no heartbeat
Lead in my chest

And I let you hold my strings
Pull them this way, that way
I have only myself to blame,

Only me
I am a puppet without strings
And I am pathetic.

stolen slumber.

Why is my mind still

Tick tick ticking

Chewing on these guilt pills

Scratching til my skin bleeds

Trying not to see,

See that shadow in the corner

A plague in my head

Or is it?

Staring at this screen

All night if I have to

Avoiding all that dark space

Yet sleep will keep evading me

Eyes won't rest a second now,

This rhythm needs to stop

Before it builds into a hurricane

Of weeping, shaking, sad again

Not that again.

Leave me, please.

Let me ease into

A dreamless slumber,

No screaming, faded pictures

Twisted faces, scary places

Just, sleep. Peace.

Come back to me.

panic.

There's a rope around my chest

Tied, like a noose

And they are pulling it

Tighter, tighter, tighter

Each breath torn from lungs

The air sucked away

Quicker, quicker

As the pit of my stomach falls away

Tighter, tighter,

Pain building

Bile forced up my throat

Quicker, quicker

Head pounding, heart aching

Limbs failing

Tighter,

Vision fading

Quicker,

Tight,

Quick,

Black.

bedtime.

When the steady rhythms of the day 

Come to a halt in the darkness

Silence begins to seep into my mind

Like rising water in a sinking ship

Then the voices shout louder, louder 

Drowning the truth out

Echoing in emptiness

Repeating over and over and over

It's all your fault.

It's all your fault.