skipping chapters.

is it wrong
to wish your life away
eighteen and fuelled with
youth
energy
alcohol
excitement
each day a cacophony of
laughter, tears, yawning
screaming, rising
                         falling

and yet
i long, not for
rushes in the bloodstream
intoxication and
bassline highs
but

tranquility
the soft, monotony
of a secure adult life
a house with bay windows
four bedrooms, coloured walls
safety and happiness in one's lifelong dream
love, everlasting and
a God that walks with me, side by side
and not above me, not straining His back each morning
to lift me, put me back on my feet

weekend breaks and unconditional love
a warm bed, a clear head

born to be middle-aged,
its always been a bad habit of mine
skip a few chapters, to get to the end
but I'm not wishing it away just yet

get my mistakes out the way first
then we'll settle for the rest.