On the roof of a building
The wind cuts at your skin
You can see for miles
The sky doesn't seem as far away
As the ground does now
The ground, down below
You look, and curious for more
You search to see where the building
Meets the earth
Further, you push yourself
Head angled, hands gripping steel
When that momentum propels you
A little further than you intended-
For a split second you're already falling
And nauseating pain
A fishing hook dragged
Up and through your diaphragm
And into your mouth
Soundlessly screaming-
Then you right yourself
Pull your body away from the edge
Head flings back
And your feet never felt
So firmly planted
Swallow the bile, the fear
Racing heart slows
You'll survive another day.
That feeling, that choking inevitable
Screeching nausea
As you tilt over into open space
Is constant these days
I see over the edge
I'm too close
I can hear the blood
Roaring in my ears, pressure building
The sky is upturning
One more push
And I'll start falling
Failure, then there's no going back
I'm so close.
