leaning.

You're leaning against the railings

On the roof of a building

The wind cuts at your skin

You can see for miles

The sky doesn't seem as far away

As the ground does now

The ground, down below

You look, and curious for more

You search to see where the building 

Meets the earth

Further, you push yourself

Head angled, hands gripping steel

When that momentum propels you

A little further than you intended-

For a split second you're already falling

And nauseating pain

A fishing hook dragged 

Up and through your diaphragm

And into your mouth

Soundlessly screaming-

Then you right yourself

Pull your body away from the edge

Head flings back

And your feet never felt 

So firmly planted

Swallow the bile, the fear

Racing heart slows

You'll survive another day.

That feeling, that choking inevitable

Screeching nausea

As you tilt over into open space

Is constant these days

I see over the edge

I'm too close

I can hear the blood 

Roaring in my ears, pressure building

The sky is upturning

One more push

And I'll start falling

Failure, then there's no going back

I'm so close.