mutations.

You've changed,

Both of you.

Mutations.

Sinister, you slide into

Conversations, every day

Situations, alive

You're fighting to be conscious

To be heard.

She can always hear you,

Louder louder louder

Sly and quick,

Snatching that last word

One, grows deeper

Groaning, crunching gravel

Bone is wearing away

You will be free

You won't be tamed

You will violate

Dark stubble grates

The other, ceaseless

A spring in your step

You aggravate

Wind her up and up

Then, snap

Elastic torn, springs back

Steady face of trust

Humiliated

Efforts, wasted

Bridges torched in haste

And your wicked grin

Coarse tones, scratching whispers

Dirty fingernails

Picking, picking

At her skin,

That frail border between

Mind and matter

Madness, love

Twisting boundaries out of shape

She can't make sense of things

The familiar, lost

Subdued under brittle voices

No longer company

You've slipped into a minor key

And the melody is fading

Certainty, fading

Sanity, fading

She's gone.

leelah alcorn.

suits and ties
how time flies
my mother cries.

self-presentation
essential, for
self-preservation
how do I stress
the absolute importance
of both, in this world

that demands normality
and conformity of us
when, these children inside
are screaming just to
be themselves

blue shirts, dresses in pink
blood stains a kitchen sink
generations on the brink

let us be who we are
we mean no harm
tell me, in what way
do our appearances
threaten the balance
of society's composure

shouldn't you be more concerned by
the choices we make
our character traits
our mental states
careful,
your fear is showing
too little, too late

for those, in their truest forms
trying to stand tall,
thrown to the floor
shunned and ignored
now, no more.

no more.

try and understand,
we all reside on a spectrum
a shining variety
striving for equality
a chorus of
'why can't you just accept me'
just listen.

let us be who we are
celebrate our beating hearts
before you drive us all to harm,
force our hearts to calm

keep discriminating difference
and there will be
no one
left.

black hole.

i am nothing
i cannot express it more simply than that
i am worth no time, no effort
nothing on your part

compliment, criticism,
they bounce, equally
like invalid cheques
for the account does not exist
i cannot accept either
for i am emptiness
i am vacancy
i am worthlessness
i am desolation

i am, even
that statement does not apply
these inhabited set of cells
useless, no function
they collide with lives
somewhere, guilt-ridden
no one deserves to be affected
by something of such little substance
i am sorry

sorry for my existence
the energy to care has left me
so why do i live anymore
why should i be substantial
what claim have i
to occupy space
to consume air

within this grey i reside
waiting, for absolution
for pardon
simply wasteful
of God's good earth
and infinite love
i deserve neither
for how can a vacuum
be deserving of any right

release me soon, i beg you
before this nothingness
begins to collapse
fold into itself
and drag others down
with it
let me go
let me fade
allow the empty
to cease existing

a flicker of sanity left
one hope
don't let me suck the life
from anyone else
let this end
please.

too much.

Can’t breathe 
Can’t think 
Too close


Too deep
 Trapped in sheets 
So weak

So weak 
Memories bleak
 They won’t Leave
 Need to scream 
Can’t scream


Its killing me
 Too much for me


Too much for me

compliments.

I'm so confused
and frustrated
I'm just being nice
I'm being a decent human being
giving you a compliment or two
showing you that
I always see the best in you

but no, it's too far
too many connotations
it's flirting
definitely flirting
she wants more
you want more
she wants you
what the fuck do you want
make your mind up
sort your life out
don't lead her astray
to places she'll regret
you'll regret
just stop
calm down
lay off
you're dragging her in
stop it
stop it now
you're hurting her
just leave.

just a compliment
i swear,
not charming,
not flirting,
not sweet-talking
i'm just
being
fucking
nice
why isn't that
okay these days

why do we live
in such a shattered
broken glass society
we're all terrified
of cutting ourselves
snagging flesh
on the judgments of others
so afraid,
that a compliment
a gentle word
something that, somehow
draws a smile
suddenly that's too much
it means such a lot
and we magnify
and marinate
and swill it
round and round
until it expands with pressure

just accept it for what it was.
can't i just be nice anymore?