candle, extinguished.

I feel like I don't know how to grieve.
There must be some kind of etiquette,
Some innate way to deal and cope with death.

A family friend. She was lovely.
How can my last memory of her
Really be the only one I'll ever have now?

How does the world continue
Without her presence, I mean
She was such a crucial part
Of so many lives
A husband, two sons, family.

What if she's forgotten?
She can't be, surely
What if people aren't told
And expect to see her tomorrow
Or she had a meeting with a friend
Next week, a coffee and catch-up
Now she'll never make it.

Life is so, thin, opaque
We'll certain it'll last
That we'll make a difference
Goodness knows what happens afterwards
But does it really matter that
We exist, at all?

Emptiness, as if
with her last breath she
blew out a candle
flickering in the dark.
The world will surely suffer
without another woman like her.

So many questions,
but no answers.
Must be why words
are never enough for these things.

I just want to feel it.
Is this it?
Grief must be like
talking under water
crying under water
there's no point,
but you're still drowning.

May she rest in peace,
not be forgotten
and live on in those
unmade dates and
unanswered phone calls
and the dignified, happy memories
chosen to be preserved.