blue, black, fading.

Bruised,

Like last week's beating

Starting to fade

Yet a blue, black outline

Lingers on pale skin

I can feel your hands

Gripping my heart

I want it back

Or do I

Some days I try, I pull

See myself tearing it away from you

Other days, it stays 

Locked in your grasp

And I watch it beating there

Content to have you hold it

Like you have 

For such a long time

One day

You're going to throw it back at me

You'll disgust yourself with the thought

That you ever touched it

And I'm waiting, right here

To catch it

And drop it

And lose it

It feels like its already fading

Just a mark on pale skin

Blue, black, fading

Not the beating, life-sustaining

Centre of warmth that it should be

I'll stare out of that window

Landscape passing in a blur

And it'll no longer rush

At the though of seeing you

It'll no longer pound in anticipation

Or break, at that distance

Growing between us again

No, it will see nothing

But bleak endless nothing

Slipping into grey

And I won't feel anything

Just, empty

And an ache

That fucking ache

It feels sometimes like

That's all I'll ever have

The one constant,

Accompanied by the whispers

On the edges of my mind 

Gaps in my sanity,

An empty void in my chest

And it'll all be gone

Blue, then black, fading

Soon enough.