scent.

feelings have faded

   but your scent is still strong

      trapped between my bedsheets

         as i stride past you, standing

            stored in my memory

               my breath is stolen

          heart stops

   too easy to survive on

      your scent alone, oxygen aside

         stays with me

            sticks to my clothes, my skin

               feelings have faded

                  but your scent still

                     stimulates my mind

                        my secret desires

                           stories from the past

                              sideway streets and musty rooms

                                 eyes search star-wards

                         still waiting

      for a similar entrancing scent

         to scream for my attention

            my hopes are stifled

               each time i stride past you, standing.

magnetism.

she pushes me back
unconsciously,
                       as the force
propels me away
a slap across my face
she smiles innocently
unaware,
              her unflinching sexuality
is crushing my insides
repulsion,
                i feel sick.


she draws me closer
intently,
             as the force
seduces me
a kiss on the cheek
she laughs, like music
unaware,
               her beauty and character
are melting my insides
attraction,
                i feel alive.

my burden

digs its claws
into my back
through my chest

it drags them down
rakes my flesh
as body splls

thick blood
screams of anguish
heavy tears

tell me the answer
tell me the truth

a sinner
or a fool
just tell me

before its too late to change.

a single flame.

quiet, laid beside him
arms draped across his fragile body
eyes wide open
watching his chest rise, and fall
so afraid i might
pull him into me
squeeze too hard
and never let go
lightly tracing the
lacing rivers beneath his pale skin
a delicate heartbeat against my chest
a bond, thick and strong
it shakes my body
the pools of tears from my eyes
rollng down my face
they spill onto his cheek
he doesn't stir, he knows
such a force could kill us both, but somehow,
he is in control
his unfading trust in me allows me to love him
without dragging the world
down with us
i am set free in living for him
his safety and happiness are all i pursue
he turns
places a smaller hand on my neck
his touch burns
sets my heart alight
a single flame, keeping us alive
he is in control, i am his child
as i wept, this time
not for the darkness in a man's heart
but the light in a little boy's smile.

the letter.

i stared into the dark
knowing, it was waiting
like everyone else
one last flick of the hesitant tongue
it was sealed
turned away, took a step
the fall was louder than the final thud
as the letter fell through time
and landed. gone.
my feet carried me briskly
away, before regret called my name
doubt's feral hands dragged me back
i left my future swallowed whole
at the bottom of a box
rejected a path, littered with golden leaves
to follow the familiar ladders in my threadbare heart
whilst i ran, despite reluctant bile
rising in my throat, i hoped
it was not my fate
sinking into folded palms
independance crawling closer
as control, once again, slipped away.

greed.

when you ordered me to go
when you asked me to leave
not only did you bargain with my soul
and sell me to grief.

you gave my body to the carbs
the additives, the meals
filled me up with grease and lard
became routine, to seal the deal.

i found solace in satisfaction
as bricks slipped between my lips
i turned into contradiction
of my own self-control tips.

it was when i stopped and thought
when grief and greed set me free
i saw the gentle peace i'd sought
had stained my liberty.

you in turn don't understand
when i hide from searching eyes
as soft bricks pass from palm of hand
into stomach i despise.

self-image now in disrepair
confidence lost at sea
my appearance is too much to bear
although so many disagree.

never confiding my addiction
whilst i gorged through crumb and plate
my weight a burden, i predicted
as my hands begin to shake.

the gaping jaws of loneliness gorge on my soul.

feast on my heart.
it is all i have to give.
for the rest of me is gone.
it is all i have to give.